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This is what the Lord says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!
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I'm a Junior in college and today I made my first B. I feel like I'm in an AA meeting, but seriously, that's my confession.
There, I said it.
Granted there have been B's in the past, but they didn't count. They weren't on my transcript for the whole world to see. Yes, it was Chemistry, but I've always been able to pull out an A somehow. Until today.
For the past few weeks I've examined my heart closely, desperately trying to find what makes me want A's so badly. What's there to fear in getting less than a 90? Why do I push myself so hard, staying up late, saying no to fun activities, all for a grade and the highest one at that? What about A's confirm my confidence, my self esteem and even my self worth? When did I even come to define myself as a number? Aren't I so much more than a score? Which is why, although a bit bittersweet, I'm glad it finally happened.
I dropped the ball, the streak is over.
The funniest thing is, when I made the grade, nothing happened. I still passed the class, my family wasn't disappointed, I didn't get kicked out of college. All my irrational fears were simply that, irrational. Sometimes we can be our biggest critics. We hold ourselves to standards that no one else does. We pressure ourselves to impossible heights, pointing out each and every flaw, forgetting we're human, forgetting that we aren't God. So whether it's money, power, or like in my case grades, I challenge you, what burdens are you carrying that you don't have to? How can you boast less in yourself and more in your Creator?
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ReplyDeleteCongratulations! You have your first opportunity to see what you're REALLY made of. The real questions is, what happens next? Do you allow this stumble to cause you to give up or keep pushing forward? Do you slide into becoming a C student or do you maintain high standards for yourself with a new sense of balance ( so you don't drive yourself batty)? Do you focus on what you lost ( a perfect record) or what you found ( a new perspective). Was this summer only about a letter grade, or was it about the new knowledge you have, both about chemistry and life, that you will be able to share with your students. Continuing to be proud of you.....
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