Doing The Thing That Makes Your Heart Beat Faster ❤️

Philip went to look for Nathanael and told him, “We have found the very person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth.”“Nazareth!” exclaimed Nathanael. “Can anything good come from Nazareth?”“Come and see for yourself,” Philip replied.
1 John 1: 45 - 46 NLT

From evening classes to 7am internships, to making decisions in the classroom at a moments notice, this semester has been a demanding one. But perhaps my biggest source of stress is that I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I'm not supposed to be here at all. When someone vocalized that same fear to me about my teaching style this week, I almost lost it. Here was someone asking themselves the same questions about my personality as I was, could it be true?

But in the midst of freaking out about my chosen profession, I had a day like yesterday where a student came in smiling for the first time all semester and my supervising teacher and I got to joke around with her. I got to spend third period laughing with student about my supervising teacher falling asleep on his own boring video and fifth making up a secret signal with a student who always sneaks a nap during class time to let him know when it's okay to take a break and when it's not.  And in the midst of all of that, came to the realization that I can do all these fun things with my students and still take control of the classroom when needed. Days like yesterday make days like today where all I want to do is pull my hair out and go, "Forget it!" Worth it. 

Is this what it feels like to be a teacher? Not in Piaget Theories, or classroom management, or in doing things right or wrong, but simply because you love what you're doing and you want to do right by the students put in your care. 

Turns out Jesus went through a similar struggle. Perhaps the biggest problem others had with believing that Jesus was the Messiah was He didn't fit the mold they had constructed in their minds: He ate with tax collectors, said things that didn't make sense and he didn't even have a degree in political science -- How was He supposed to reign?

In every way it seemed that Jesus was unsuited for the job, and yet He's the only one who could fulfill what the job required. It seems like God, throughout the Bible, takes this approach. He calls Moses, a murderer to lead His people and later Peter, a closed minded hot head, to be the pillar of the church. 

So even though doubts may creep in my head and I may question everything that has lead me to this point, I can because I have a calling on my life that I have to finish -- no matter how many people think I'm supposed to be a teacher or not. 

I love this job.  I was made to be a teacher. Who am I to decide that I shouldn't do the one thing that I love even if I feel like I'll never get it perfect or I'm too tightly wound to handle such a stress inducing profession. If God, is for us, who could ever be against us!

Follow the Savior's footsteps  -- Do the thing that makes your heart beat faster.

Bring It On!

When you go out to fight your enemies and you face horses and chariots and an army greater than your own, do not be afraid. The Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, is with you! When you prepare for battle, the priest must come forward to speak to the troops. He will say to them, ‘Listen to me, all you men of Israel! Do not be afraid as you go out to fight your enemies today! Do not lose heart or panic or tremble before them. For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory!’

Deuteronomy 20: 1- 4 NLT

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It’s the Friday before classes, yet another summer gone. It always amazes me how life changes in a matter of months. I think back to what I was doing this time last year, halfway across the world meeting new friends and accepting new challenges. Even having lived it I almost can’t believe it was me. 

As I start a new year of college, there are new obstacles waiting. None of them require getting on a plane or surviving homesickness and jet lag, but they each demand I face my fears and step out of my comfort zone all the same. I’m starting to realize life means constantly crossing uncharted territory, no matter how daunting the challenge.

I won’t deny joining the team of classmates and professors I am expected to work with for the rest of my time in college doesn’t send a small chill down my spine. And yes, the thought that all too soon my time in college will be over, coupled with the image of me leading twenty-five impressionable students each class period, all on my own, is enough to send me over the edge. But I choose not to worry. I know God’s got this. If He could get me through Australia He can and will help me through the uncertainties of my Junior year of college. 

What challenges are you facing today? Will you trust God enough to take you through them? What memories can you use from the past to give you a confident outlook in times of uncertainty?

Hey Uni,

I’m ready. Hit me with your best shot. Bring it on.

The Real Thing

You ever had something that's sugar-free? Or maybe even that no-calorie "natural" sweetener? Although people say they can't tell the difference, as soon as I bite into my favorite altered treat, I can always tell that something isn't quite right. 

The past few months have taught me that being kind to others is a lot like the difference between artificial sweeteners and sugar itself. Encouragement isn't something you plan. Being "nice" isn't a set time where everyone tells the person what they meant to them, but actions of genuine love are spontaneous events where we let a person know they're appreciated. That's why the author of Hebrews says, "Encourage each other every day while you have the opportunity." (Hebrews 3:13 GNT) 

And yet, it's still been hard for me. Today I realized that oftentimes my difficulty in praising and loving others has been driven by fear. I've decided that being kind to those around me gives them the power to hurt me and I must protect "me" at all costs. I'm not the only one. My social media is riddled with posts of hurting people giving up on love, taking care of themselves before everyone else, and not caring about anyone around them.

So what's the solution? 1 John 4:18 has some pretty interesting things to say, "There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear..." (1 John 4:18)  

The only way to truly face my fear head-on is to continue to love others more and more.*

(*By love I don't mean that wishy-washy stuff the world sells us about finding "the one". I mean the love  that allows us to forgive friends even when they don't deserve it, love that helps us be kind even when people aren't kind back, you're smart, you get the picture...) 

So today, if you're like me, let's stop living in the fear of the world around us, and instead love with all our hearts. Yes, being a "real sweetener" may take more hard work than a sugar substitute, we may even get rejected for being "too sweet" by those used to the artificial stuff, but authentic tops counterfeit any day. Let's be the real thing.

Dropping the Ball ⤵︎

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This is what the Lord says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken!

Jeremiah 9:23-24 NLT

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I'm a Junior in college and today I made my first B. I feel like I'm in an AA meeting, but seriously, that's my confession.

There, I said it. 

Granted there have been B's in the past, but they didn't count. They weren't on my transcript for the whole world to see. Yes, it was Chemistry, but I've always been able to pull out an A somehow. Until today.

For the past few weeks I've examined my heart closely, desperately trying to find what makes me want A's so badly. What's there to fear in getting less than a 90? Why do I push myself so hard, staying up late, saying no to fun activities, all for a grade and the highest one at that? What about A's confirm my confidence, my self esteem and even my self worth? When did I even come to define myself as a number? Aren't I so much more than a score? Which is why, although a bit bittersweet, I'm glad it finally happened.

 I dropped the ball, the streak is over. 

The funniest thing is, when I made the grade, nothing happened. I still passed the class, my family wasn't disappointed, I didn't get kicked out of college. All my irrational fears were simply that, irrational. Sometimes we can be our biggest critics. We hold ourselves to standards that no one else does. We pressure ourselves to impossible heights, pointing out each and every flaw, forgetting we're human, forgetting that we aren't God. So whether it's money, power, or like in my case grades, I challenge you, what burdens are you carrying that you don't have to? How can you boast less in yourself and more in your Creator?